Ladies, ladies, ladies…I can’t tell you how sad and disappointing it is when I hear women talk about the way they ‘watch’ what they eat or worse off, scrutinize menus due to the fact that they don’t want to ‘taint’ their image in front of their partners. Seriously, who are we kidding? We all know that those garden greens that you ordered will do sweet nothing to sustain your appetite. I understand and have been told countless of times (too many times if you ask me) how ‘us’ ladies should show some restraint when it comes to food at the onset of a new relationship. That we should avoid potentially messy meals like spaghetti, wings, seafood (when it involves cracking open some crustaceans) or anything else that can somehow cause a dining ‘faux pas’.

Avoiding a dining faux pas I can understand the logic behind it (just don’t agree with it), you don’T want to embarrass yourself especially in front of your partner. I guess that’s where I have a different take on the whole topic (my stance has evolved over the years). I actually encourage my lady friends to order whatever they are in the mood for – regardless of the potential disaster that may lay ahead of them. The way I see it is like this, whatever happens will happen so go with it.
This will be the ultimate ice breaker that mother nature can give you. Think about it for a second, lets say you have a dining snafu…this will give you the opportunity to see how your partner reacts to the potentially embarrassing situation. The most candid reactions are the most telling.

So, if you happen to slurp too loudly on that pasta dish or better yet have some sauce splatter on you as you ever so discreetly try to spin the pasta on your spoon – then so be it. I can pretty much guarantee if the man is worth it, he will laugh with you and if he has charm he will make reference to some of his own embarrassing stories to make you feel like your little dining disaster wasn’t so bad after all. And with that the ice has melted and so has the pressure of avoiding eating anything that could possibly be disastrous.

Let him see you for who you are… He will down the road anyways, so why be fake about it!

Now going back to my original point, women who consciously order salads or other token rabbit foods just to save face is absolutely ridiculous in my opinion. Now first off, I should mention that I mean no disrespect for those that like salads as well as all other ‘light’ foods. However I have an issue with it when its used to mislead someone on the amount of food that you can actually consume or would like to consume at that very moment. Those token celery and carrot sticks aren’t fooling anyone. I was going to ask, if these women actually thought men let alone people in general actually believe for a micro second that they would rather eat the small child like handful of veggies over anything else on the menu…but sadly, I have my answer. Obviously they do believe it, since countless of women continue with this line of behavior. What their partners don’t know is this, all the while when the women painstakingly eat their ever ‘so filling’ zero-caloried celery sticks bite after bite they are actually fantasizing about that burger or steak that their date is about to plunge into. At that very moment these women are vicariously getting full just by site alone. Who cares if their stomach’s cry out in pain to feed it. Who cares if all the water in the world wont quench what their stomach desires most…the desire of real food.

What’s important right now to these women is appearance. The appearance to seem like the lady that she thinks she is or wishes to be in her very apparent warped perception. These women will sacrifice their basic need of feeding their stomachs so that they don’t give a bad impression to their dates. Little do their dates know, that as soon as the date is over these women will go home and pulverize their freezer and eat their tub(s) of Ben Jerry’s like no one’s business and in some cases a complete pantry raid will have to suffice…now that’s a lady in the making if you ask me (said with an insane amount of sarcasm in case you didn’t know).

During the date: deception

After the date: reality

Don’t let this be the highlight of your evening… Own your appetite regardless of who you eat in front of

In my humble opinion, I believe a woman should own her appetite and be proud of it. Confidence is the key. Be proud to order that Porter house cut (yes, I know that cut should be shared considering its typical size) but think of the joy it would be to share that Porter house with your partner with all its fixings and still not feel guilty when the dessert tray is presented to you.

I have been told by men that there is nothing sexier let alone more desirable than a woman who is self assured, a woman who knows what she wants and goes after it especially when it can potentially make her happy. And that’s how I see food – enjoy what you enjoy and more importantly, make no excuses for it…own it!

Here’s to eating your heart out…
Bon appétit,
FT